KurimuzonAme_dw

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Kurimuzoname_dw's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

Big boy

By Rjlup - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 169

You deserved it 7 309

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 821

You deserved it 7 816

By halliemarie1818 - 24/04/2013 02:01 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 525

You deserved it 4 671

By KatiRozz1 - 17/04/2013 17:40 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 18 363

RoseTheOdd tells us more.

RoseTheOdd 5

Thursday 18 April 2013 21:09

I'm the op :) The song is called "Choudo ii ino" which means, "It's just right" if you look up the lyrics for it (with the english translation) it becomes pretty obvious what it's about. my friend is Japanese, she told me what it meant.