derangedrhapsody

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San Francisco, United States
33 years-old
Saturday 17 August 1991
Not specified

About Derangedrhapsody

Just a teen whose ready to graduate high school.

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Derangedrhapsody's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Derangedrhapsody's favorite FMLs

Let down

By Reaper - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I loved her. She said, "Me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 505

You deserved it 5 230

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 485

By Mason_Jayson - 22/03/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 168 648

Mason_Jayson tells us more.

Mason_Jayson 0

Monday 23 March 2009 18:37

This is my FML. In my UNDESERVED defense...I do have a little OCD, I work in healthcare and automatically want to help when I see something like that, and there may have been a few beers involved. I'm not a pervert and have never done anything like that before (and you had better believe since). And for those who are curious: the mole was on her shoulder and the hair I touched was down by her shoulderbladeish area. This sucker was LONG.

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 69 621

By notenoughsex - 19/03/2009 05:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 636

You deserved it 10 505