elsworth55

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Elsworth55's favorite FMLs

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 911

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 46 381

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 657

You deserved it 16 855

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 800

You deserved it 30 067

By Angel1000168 - 27/03/2011 08:37 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 818

You deserved it 6 234

Angel1000168 tells us more.

Angel1000168 16

Monday 16 May 2011 5:45

Ok, guys, OP here. In answer to all the questions/statements about which was smaller, it was the ring. Sorry for not making that clear. And he didn't stink the ring around his balls, he sticky-taped it. My fingers are not that big. Sorry about not making that clear either but the limited words made that tricky. I said no, of course, as I don't want a man that thinks I have that sort of mind or personality. I have gone through every aspect of my relationship with that man and haven't found anything that suggested that I wanted to be proposed to in that manner. Thanks for all your advice!