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waterrat972

miss

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your. mom, but it was funny right
31 years-old
Friday 01 January 1993
single

About Waterrat972

Hey everyone! I'm def not gonna tell you my name... Cuz u don't know what weirdos are out their. Ummm anyway... I'm a beast at lacrosse and soccer. I pay for a premier soccer league in the United Sates. Look it up if you don't believe me... It's called Everton. Im a pretty kick ass goalie. This season in only let in two goals. Anyway.... FML's make my classes fun. Thanks to anyone whose posted one.... I owe you a laugh. :) keep on writing!

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 quality comments

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100 kick-ass comments

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50 favorites

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One more and it's business time

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Waterrat972's favorite FMLs

Not now!

By annonymous - 30/11/2009 18:59 - United States

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 361

You deserved it 3 510

Freaky

By lifeonfire12 - 16/04/2012 01:13 - Canada

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 694

You deserved it 42 178

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 62 080

By Miss_Kristen - 26/02/2012 15:31 - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 394

You deserved it 34 419

Surprise!

By Fat_abott - 05/01/2012 20:40 - France

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 5 561