thelostescapist

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About Thelostescapist

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

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Santa Claus

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One more and it's business time

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100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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The return of the thumb

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The thumb strikes back

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50 favorites

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Judgmental

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

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The list of badges to find

Thelostescapist's favorite FMLs

Attacksloth tells us more.

Attacksloth 33

OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".