Blast from the past
By fat_thighs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
By fat_thighs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 24/03/2014 20:01 - United States - Denver
By campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross
By fuckmeitsgettingworse - 24/02/2014 19:36 - United Kingdom - Derby
By molliciousj - 19/02/2014 05:09 - United States - Houston
Okay, so this is embarrassing but you guys asked for it! First of all, I'm a receptionist at a vet hospital so I have a big soft spot for animals. When I saw the little creature run across the road I thought it could be someone's lost pet or a stray doggy looking for shelter. I couldn't just keep driving. The coyote was also pretty small so I assume it was a fairly young one. In my defense, it was super dark out and it's foresty where I live with little to no street lights so visibility is very limited. When I pulled over I saw a glimpse of the fuzz ball in my headlight, huddled under some bushes. I had a dog lead in my trunk that I took out just in case. The pup never saw me though so I was able to walk right up and swoop him. He squirmed a bit but not much which is surprising. Now, I've seen a ton of dogs come into the vet hospital that I work at which are half coyote or wolf and look very similar....so it's a real thing. I'm not entirely crazy. Ha. Anyways, upon setting the coyote in my car when he began freaking out and I turned the light on, there was no mistaking that this was a wild animal. I was face to face with the little guy who was scared to death that he was trapped in a driving machine with an insane girl who picked up a feral animal. Haha. He was jumping around and pacing in my car. I got out and ran around to open the passenger side door. I left both doors open and as soon as he saw an escape he took it and ran off. Just so you know, there were no animals harmed in the happenings of this FML and no damage done to my car (although he did poop in it) but I feel like such a jerk. I'm sorry, poor little coyote. :(