canybean

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NYC, USA
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In a relationship

About Canybean

I read FMLs to fall asleep at night.

Canybean - Followers

Canybean - Followed

Canybean's page visits

lovers5201

PenguinBit...

Hugged!

Canybean's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Canybean's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:59 - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 608

You deserved it 12 450

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 816

You deserved it 7 815

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By dancekat - 08/04/2013 09:17 - United States - Puyallup

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 430

You deserved it 12 050

dancekat tells us more.

dancekat 7

Monday 8 April 2013 22:32

Hey, OP here, we had a big laugh about it afterwards. He knew I would love the reference. There was only one nick and he was pretty concerned after he made the joke. P.S. I've loved reading all these comments; they're amazing!