LastTourOnEarth

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Kansas City, USA
37 years-old
Wednesday 22 April 1987
Not specified

About Lasttouronearth

Life sucks, just like the rest of you.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

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Lasttouronearth's favorite FMLs

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 917

You deserved it 58 638

Ready to rumble

By rawkdinosawr - 09/05/2009 15:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend, in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted, "My girlfriend is so stupid, she can't even text the right number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 044

You deserved it 77 075

By Rhyno - 05/05/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 98

Rhyno tells us more.

Rhyno 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 23:53

To explain a bit more in detail, I pulled a U-Turn and the dog ran out of the yard and boom... It was a medium sized dog, I drive an SUV and didn't see it as I was making the turn. I didn't even know they had a dog... haha The following 20 minutes were probably the most uncomfortable of my life, after I knew the dog was fine I kinda laughed nervously and left. "Hi I'm the guy who is dating your daughter, sorry about the dog"... Live and you learn.

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 11:06 - United States

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 788

You deserved it 61 018

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 1 819