By longlongwinter - 05/12/2013 16:50 - United Kingdom - Southampton
voidnemesis
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Socialite
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
42
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
Tommy Wiseau
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
I'm a rock star
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
Gandhi
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
Thank you for all your comments, it made me laugh for the first time in a week. Answering your questions, she's 67, in good health, and apart from a bad knee and weak bladder, she'll be around for many years, living independently. Her family is full of centenarians (FML again). She's neither senile nor mentally ill, but she came from an European aristocratic family (technically, she's a baroness), grew up with 12 personal servants, married into a very wealthy - but plebeian - family, and together they squandered every little penny they had. She divorced and had to raise three kids on her own, in relative poverty (one servant is not enough), had to work for a living (how shameful!), and poured all her frustration and bitterness on us. Of her three kids, the one that lives closest to her is 5000 miles away. I confronted her many times on what she thinks about that, if she says that it's wonderful, because she can travel more. She insists on spend three months with each of us, and three months on her city. We have no choice but to oblige, otherwise she manages to make our lives even more hellish. She got to the point of denouncing my brother-in-law for an nonexistent domestic violence episode to the police, from 8000 miles away. She does not have pure evil intent in her actions. The thing is, the only thing she's interested in is herself and her reputation. She doesn't care for our stuff, our lives or our emotions, she doesn't pay attention to anyone (she called her sister on Skype while I was talking to her), and the only thing that grabs her attention is gossip, so she can start blabbing how much better than the others she is. She's just a vain and vacuous self-absorbed ex-rich girl that happened to get old. Think Paris Hilton. For those saying that I should kiss her feet because she carried me for nine months and suffered for my birth, here it goes: she demanded a general anesthetic for all births, had a boob job and a tummy tuck on the same surgery I was born, and only saw me when I was a month old. She only turned into a hands-on mother when she got flat broke and had to fire the nannies. But no worries. I made sure for her that this is my home, so my rules apply. She's trying to behave. Oh, my husband is a saint with infinite patience, and excuses her for everything. And my mother-in-law is the best person I've ever met, and compensated for all the hurt my mother inflicted. :)