quintanab19

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50 favorites

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Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 769

You deserved it 36 011

By Mmkay1515 - 13/11/2012 03:47 - United States - Plainfield

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 637

You deserved it 2 704

Mmkay1515 tells us more.

Mmkay1515 21

Tuesday 13 November 2012 21:32

Perhaps I should clarify here, for all of those that are wondering. I did, in fact, tell my brother various times to leave. I even tried to ditch him a couple of times Clearly you underestimate the power of an over protective older brother who is being offered money.

By mfischer - 16/11/2012 09:40 - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 793

You deserved it 5 487