zandb90

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Zandb90's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 508

You deserved it 90 902

July the fourth be with you!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Loveland

Today, during my family's traditional fourth of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 043

You deserved it 3 516

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 110

You deserved it 4 484

By SApprentice - 05/06/2013 04:25 - United States - Danville

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 196

You deserved it 6 728

SApprentice tells us more.

SApprentice 34

Wednesday 5 June 2013 18:30

Hello peoples, I do believe that the old man meant no harm. I'm not sure if his eye sight was bad, or if he just had different expectations for the way a woman should look. I look quite feminine usually, just not in my work uniform. My hair is very short for a woman, and since I am too slim at the moment I kind of disappear into my work clothes. I wasn't wearing make-up, so I'm sure I looked a little masculine to him. It's okay, my self-esteem was only briefly wounded.

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410