miketopgunmike1

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About Miketopgunmike1

howdy

Miketopgunmike1 - Followers

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Miketopgunmike1's FML badges

Beginner

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

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FAAAAAACEBOOK

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Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

The Mixer

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

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YDI Master

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Supersize Menu

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Godlike spy - 007 level

You're following 200 people

Master spy - Maxwell Smart level

You're following 100 people

42

See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

One more and it's business time

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What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Amateur spy - Johnny English level

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The return of the thumb

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A new thumb

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50 favorites

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Tweet, tweet

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50 quality comments

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I’m your new creative director

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The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The list of badges to find

Miketopgunmike1's favorite FMLs

BBeffedmylife tells us more.

OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!

Catuser tells us more.

This is the follow up: My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!

NRFTW tells us more.

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."