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jesuslover5000

mr

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Clovis, United States
34 years-old
Monday 29 January 1990
single

About Jesuslover5000

I never know what to write in this section… and honestly I don't really care enough to write anything worthwhile or interesting so I think I will just keep on rambling until I get bored of typing. Furthermore, if you are still reading this, what are you doing with your life? And… bored.

Jesuslover5000 - Followers

Jesuslover5000 - Followed

Jesuslover5000's page visits

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Jesuslover5000's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Jesuslover5000's favorite FMLs

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 251

You deserved it 6 807

Hey!

By QueueJumper - 11/02/2014 00:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 17 626

By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 654

You deserved it 16 472

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 651

You deserved it 4 578

First day

By Awkward - 22/08/2013 23:50 - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 713

You deserved it 3 173