clabhart

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Clabhart's favorite FMLs

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 290

You deserved it 5 377

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 05:53 - United States

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 438

You deserved it 40 588

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 838

By Jen_NM - 16/12/2013 18:16 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 238

You deserved it 6 524

Jen_NM tells us more.

Jen_NM 8

Tuesday 17 December 2013 0:38

Thanks for all the comments, I've enjoyed reading them. Just for a little background, my biggest issue is my hair straightener. Years ago I left it unplugged and caused a burn to the countertop. Since then I obsessively check to make sure it's off, and now other things make me paranoid as well. OCD behaviors are strange, because you often know that you're being completely irrational. Anyhow, I'm really trying to ease up and lately I've managed to get by with just the one picture to reassure myself that the straightening iron is unplugged. I do plan to get help if it progresses, but can't really afford it at this time.