autismom1999

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About Autismom1999

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Autismom1999's favorite FMLs

Vibe check

By buttfingers - 26/12/2015 17:37 - United States - Houston

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 151

You deserved it 2 242

By full moon - 08/09/2016 02:37 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 978

You deserved it 9 036

Are you sure?

By yourekillingme - 19/02/2016 04:12 - United States - Mission

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 105

You deserved it 1 497

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 847

You deserved it 1 438

By headinabag33 - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United States - Wilson

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 337

You deserved it 3 534

headinabag33 tells us more.

headinabag33 1

Monday 15 February 2016 20:53

Hey...OP here. So in this theatre there are two curtains. The second one (more up stage, away from the audience) has been broken. So we just open both curtains, since the second one never opens. We perform in front of it and it's no big deal. We get some great lighting off it really, and once we had someone stand back there and shake it and looked cool. Someone fixed the second curtain without telling us. The actors were having sex behind the "broken" curtain and it opened. No one told them to stop because they were quiet, and no one wants to tell people to quit having sex... So anyway, there it is.