Am I being detained?
By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen
By EevieBear - 25/06/2016 21:08 - United States - Rochester
By hellolaina - 25/06/2016 00:13 - Australia
And to answer everyone's question, no I didn't use to be a guy. And yes he is my ex.
By Jo_kat - 09/06/2016 03:56 - United States - Portland
OP here. Last night's 10 year old gossip included who's farts smell the best and what night the "neighborhood meeting" should take place in the treehouse. It isn't the visual privacy that's the issue, it's the sound. I can hear them whispering, but so far it's been pretty entertaining and they're called inside by 9pm. But they're guaranteed to get a soundbite when my boyfriend visits this weekend.... ;) Wish I could share a photo.
By djurmel89 - 07/06/2016 16:48 - Germany
Wow, just wow. I want to thank my parents and my friends for their love and support and I also want to thank my pants for never letting me down... Now seriously. Hi, I'm the OP and I'm so surprised this got posted. I'm much better now. This happened yesterday after work. I put the stuff in the oven and gave my cats a fresh bowl of wet food when I felt my stomach pressing the red button for alarm. At the end I could not only not leave the bathroom, I sat there while my apartment filled with a decent amount of smoke since my oven is fairly old. Finally the smoke detectors went off and gave the whole situation the best soundtrack possible. I'm a quit unlucky person, so this stuff happens all the time. After I finally left the bathroom I opened all the windows and doors and ate some cereal instead. Thanks for the comments so far. I will keep reading.
Hey guys! Op here. I'm pleasantly surprised this got published! I guess I should have explained the whole situation a lot better. It was not my idea to snoop, as I was making them dinner, and I heard doors opening and closing. I went to investigate, praying it wasn't a break in. Instead, I found the kids looking through the closets. I asked them to stop, sit down, and watch tv while I continued cooking. I watched them go back to the main room by the kitchen where I was, but I guess they snuck back out. When I checked on them again, they were looking at, you guessed it, sex toys.