flyingfat

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Flyingfat's favorite FMLs

YumeWolf tells us more.

Hi guys, OP here. Thanks for some of your funny comments, they made me laugh! To answer some questions, no, I do not sleep commando, yes I had pants on and no I wasn't robbed. I had a friend over, who stayed 'till pretty late (around 5 AM), so I was extremely exhausted. So exhausted that I fell asleep with my sweatpants still on, as I normally sleep without pants (so I was very lucky). I woke up about 30 minutes later, in the elevator. I had locked myself out, naturally, but luckily my friend lives in the same apartment building as me, and she had a spare key. I'm glad she opened the door when I rang her bell at 5:45 in the morning. I never had problems with sleepwalking before, and I haven't sleepwalked since. I hang my keys on the doorhandle every night, so that if I somehow manage to turn the lock and open the door, the keys will slide right off on top of my feet. That should wake me up if it ever happens again!

NRFTW tells us more.

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."