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AbsoluteTwist

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About Absolutetwist

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Absolutetwist's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The list of badges to find

Absolutetwist's favorite FMLs

By Explicit - 13/01/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 3 227

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 04:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 315

You deserved it 3 788

By Bex98 - 28/09/2015 16:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 878

You deserved it 1 986

Bex98 tells us more.

Bex98 6

Tuesday 29 September 2015 19:05

Hey, OP here. This actually happened last year when I was 16 years old, and I was broke as hell and almost agreed. But then his wife showed up and he pretended he didn't know me XD

By EverettA - 11/09/2015 13:50 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 161

You deserved it 2 997

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 08:50 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 996

You deserved it 1 973