Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave....

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 080

You deserved it 21 070

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Same thing different taste

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 5 774

By unloved cat owner - 16/02/2014 00:50 - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I tried to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 654

You deserved it 9 467

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 02:58 - United States

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 6 959

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 096

You deserved it 4 479

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 77

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 257

You deserved it 910

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 673

You deserved it 8 728

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 407

You deserved it 6 381

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 063

You deserved it 1 879

By Dom - 26/05/2012 21:35 - South Africa - Kwa-zulu

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 166

You deserved it 3 294

confusedAsFuck 34

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Pussy blocked

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Laser Pen that bastard into a bin and voilà.

Comments

Cujo3269 9

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:25

Kick the Damn thing. Establish dominance

8born8 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:07

That only works for dogs, as they are a 'pack' animal. Dogs have a hierarchy with the alpha male at the top. Cats are self centered creatures with no regard for anything except its' own hide.

anonymousy37 5

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:28

Throw a blanket over it and walk out...simple

JCxParkour 3

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:34

Kick the damn thing out of the way, and I guarantee you he won't do it again.

Bebbo_fml 21

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:34

A new meaning to pussy whipped.

sNOOBie_fml 24

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:39

Just go. Show it you're superior. You may get scratched, but it's going to learn who's in charge.

Gho5tk3y 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:41

My cats hate the sound of a vacuum and always run away, try that next to the door. Good luck

Jbyerly 2

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:43

You do realize that is a symptom of severe separation anxiety?

ViviMage 38

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:56

Get a water bottle or spray/splash the cat

8born8 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:12

Cats have slaves, dogs have masters. The only truly affectionate & loyal breed of cat that I know of is the Siamese. Most of the time felines only show affection or give humans attention when they want something and can't do it themselves.

JanisEvans 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:59

My cats are all very affectionate. Treat them right and they are the most loyal companions you'll ever have.

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 4 September 2013 8:00

Or when they've adopted the human as their parent or child. My calico is such a baby, she freaks out when she doesn't have access to me. 'Mommy's in the shower! That's a whole room away, she's in the house, I can hear her, but I don't know exactly what she's doing, no! Meeeeeee-yuuuuuu! Meeee-yuuuu! Mee*squeak*! ' works herself into a fit. Sometimes I just spoil her and leave the bathroom door open, and she sits in front of the sink and waits happily, so she can shadow me around the house.