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Animals

Major escalation

By animal cruelty - 24/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 135

My little friends

By Annonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 779

You deserved it 2 014

Long road ahead

By Catcrap! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 614

You deserved it 6 510

Panic attack

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I was shopping when I got charged at by a really big dog, causing me to panic and fall. The store won’t do anything because the cunt of an owner lied and said it’s her “service dog.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 89

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, during an online class, I forgot to mute myself while trying to get my dog to poop. The whole class, including my professor, heard me sing “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa to motivate her. They all had many questions when I came back on camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 471

Help!

By notwasted39 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 427

You deserved it 3 171

It'll be drones these days

By Ace - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 9 057

Dead zone

By The Corner Of Death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 137

Predator meets prey

By RIP - 09/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 320

Blowback

By Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 045

Spoilsport

By Don't you have better things to do? - 06/06/2025 05:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I caught my boyfriend making my cat dance to Cotton Eye Joe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 344

The absolute betrayal

By rejected - 03/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my ex is sleeping in the basement for a few days until he can find a new place. All three of my cats would rather snuggle with him on the couch, even though two of them hate each other. None want to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 176

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 85

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 15:00 - China - Guangzhou

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 79

Stop moving!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had to try and capture some of my dog’s pee to get tests done. During the attempt, he pissed all up my arm, the ordeal drawing a crowd of spectators who no doubt think I’ve gone mad. After all that, the sample captured wasn’t enough to be tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 102

Doggy drama

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, three days after my dog gave birth to her puppies, she actually picked them up and brought them to me. I thought it meant she trusted me with them. Nope. She was saying, "Here, they’re your problem now" because she hasn’t let them near her since, even to feed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 98

Nature is healing

By screwthewilderness - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 3 766

Tracking

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought a GPS collar for my adventurous cat. After setting it up and being very curious about what he gets up to when I'm not home, I opened the app and saw his current location marked as “Inside your house.” All day. Groundbreaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 391

Get away from me

By IAdoptedACat? - 22/05/2025 17:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I learned that, after catching my newly adopted cat so we could spend some quality time in the closet during a tornado warning, she's unwilling to let me close enough to administer her ear drops. I left my covered parking at work and took hail damage for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 291

Mean boy

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, ever since I had to rehome my cat because he was really mean, I've been wanting to get another one to replace him. I remembered a particular cat I found at the adoption center who seemed to like me a lot, and I decided I wanted to adopt her. When I got there, I found out she unexpectedly died yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 305

Little cuties

By DanielleinDC - 22/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 138

Sorry Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, to tease my cat for his naughty behavior and tendency to fart upon getting onto my lap, I tried to return the favor by farting on him while he was cleaning himself. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 682

Roomba shuffle

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 506

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 299

Better out than in

By My cat is a klutz - 08/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 150

Fly my beauties

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 137

You deserved it 5 509

Out of reach

By Yudith - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my male cat's cone is slightly bigger than his sister's. That means when he eats, the food keeps falling off his raised plate, he can barely reach it when it's on the floor, it passes his mouth to go under his chin, etc. He has to wear the damn thing for two weeks. On his behalf, FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 124

Cat fight

By Mishka - 03/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 432

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 224

Naughty boy

By Stoopiddogbot - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 087

You deserved it 4 507

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 71

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, after being years of being told that it's a pipe dream and that I can't do it, I finally qualified for my unconventional dream job, competing with almost 100k people, only to find out during the medical exam that as I have epilepsy, I'm unfit for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 106

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 5 201

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 420

You deserved it 41 058

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 1 927

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 540

You deserved it 9 046

Today, the girl I work with, who I’ve developed feelings for, started dating another guy at work. She’d told me that she “doesn’t believe” in dating coworkers and she doesn’t “shit where she eats.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 291