Animals: Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally...

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 3 850

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Same thing different taste

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 7 001

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 1 786

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 195

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 743

You deserved it 8 415

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 513

Yummy

By EwwwwYuck - 03/08/2020 02:02

Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 360

By WhoNose - 06/11/2016 23:52

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 686

You deserved it 758

Toxic wasteland

By Cinderella - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 149

You deserved it 2 604

EmilieAutumn 7

Monday 12 March 2012 5:35

Just make sure you never have sex around him.

haZzbin 0

Monday 12 March 2012 5:32

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it

Comments

marzipanimal 15

Monday 12 March 2012 5:29

I bet the neighbors love you.(: just kidding..

morganmorgan 0

Monday 12 March 2012 5:33

Feared 9

Monday 12 March 2012 5:35

I bet people will up vote your comment :) just kidding.

Naomimi_fml 6

Monday 12 March 2012 5:40

I once read a book where someone is murdered and there was a parrot there and the parrot is able to imitate the sounds of the murder and reveal the murderer. Useful bird.

BarDownDaily 12

Monday 12 March 2012 5:42

Cool.

JumbledGirl 2

Monday 12 March 2012 6:11

My first instinct was to 'like' this

xxmel 6

Monday 12 March 2012 6:36

Your comment would've been fine. And then you added the little kidding disclaimer.

btnhdude 0

Monday 12 March 2012 6:38

20- That sounds like a cool story, bro. It seriously does, whats the name of the book.

ChronicBluntz420 7

Monday 12 March 2012 7:20

Banshees are annoying in Mass Effect 3. >:

boydeee01 7

Monday 12 March 2012 16:05

My parrot does that too actually. Our smoke alarm needed batteries, and his favorite sound is a "beep".

periwinkle95 10

Monday 12 March 2012 17:35

29- I think that was the worst joke I have ever heard.

cyK0tek 0

Monday 12 March 2012 20:54

I bet you people will soon stop giving 2 big sh*ts about thumb-count. Just kidding... :

P374RD3D 9

Thursday 31 May 2012 2:09

Some people on FML don't understand sarcasm. Trust me, the disclaimer was necessary.

F___M__L 0

Monday 12 March 2012 5:30

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

buck33 14

Monday 12 March 2012 5:44

This comment is simply.. Genius.

TheFakeFamilyGuy 9

Monday 12 March 2012 6:00

Actually 23 I think it was an extremely shitty comment.

lebronesque73091 12

Monday 12 March 2012 6:45

I don't care for parrots too much.

ladyLALAA 28

Monday 12 March 2012 8:21

I don't care for any birds, dirty flying bitches.

anthonydude 9

Monday 12 March 2012 8:54

Yeah, like your comment.

Angel1000168 16

Monday 12 March 2012 5:30

Sounds fun

IAdminIFlow 0

Monday 12 March 2012 6:19

no it doesnt...

ALlamaOnFire 20

Monday 12 March 2012 7:21

I'd hate to think what would happen if he overheard someone heaving sex...

yahoowizard 16

Monday 12 March 2012 9:20

I guess 3 is willing to take the parrot off OP's hand then

Dandaman2078 4

Monday 12 March 2012 5:30

That must have been the FIRST time it happened to you.

haZzbin 0

Monday 12 March 2012 5:32

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it

grahambertus 11

Monday 12 March 2012 5:41

Are you aware of the story about the boy who cried 'wolf'?

TheZee 12

Monday 12 March 2012 5:53

Yes, many are, what's your point?

hippyhater3000 4

Monday 12 March 2012 6:13

he was trying to say the bird would just keep going off then when a fire actually happened Op would ignore it, thinking it was the bird... unforetunately he didnt think it over before he posted

haZzbin 0

Monday 12 March 2012 6:16

Didn't think that comment through before I posted it. Well, guess i'll just crawl back into my hovel *scoot scoot scoot*

Bekll 31

Monday 12 March 2012 5:33

Have the parrot listen to something more soothing for a couple hours and perhaps he'll mock that instead of the alarm sound.

xx000o 27

Monday 12 March 2012 9:47

They don't work like that.

SauceySarah 30

Monday 12 March 2012 5:34

Sorry but parrots are really freaking annoying. Just saying..

DooleyFTW 17

Monday 12 March 2012 11:13

I know your comment got downvoted but it's completely true. Even if the parrot learned to say a couple of phrases properly, try live in the same house as it for a week and see if you don't want to strangle it. Source: I once spent a week In a friends house with a pet parrot and it is the most annoying creature I have ever encountered.