By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 425
You deserved it 77
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ironichalibut 24

Cats can often be assholes, and assholes often fart. The equation was right in front of you, just under the surface. You could've prevented this.

202 11
perdix 29

I can visualize the cat saying, "I fart in your general direction" in an outrageous French accent. They oughta make a movie like that!

138 6

Comments

HKCgrimmjow 15

Heh stop being such a pussy!

PenguinBitch 43

Can we Hamsterians (hamster owners btw) and our plastic roll balls join this fight?

13 1
enbliss 10

the cat felt that he/she didn't feel appreciated so it did what people would do

6 1
DyslexicPanda 12

A dog may fart in your face, but at least he'll sit there with you and bask in the glory of it.

0 0
Strider207 5

At least the cat didn't leave a cat-ass-trophy

3 1
happle 21

Poor thing probably farted in your face because you don't give him enough attention. I'd kill to get affection from my cat.

jelly713 19

Not true, too much affection makes them just as mean. Depending on how grouchy the cat is.

44 4
KayleeT 9

Since when do cats fart on you to get attention? Mine just meow.

47 0
Life_sucks_13 6

Honestly me too mine likes to run. =

10 2
Synistiel 14

It can actually be annoying to want constant attention. My cat almost never lets me be alone, meowing as loud as she can whenever I am in the bathroom, school, in another room, even in the same room when I'm not petting her or holding her. They can be clingy creatures. :I

29 0
luckyd880 12

You people need to get dogs if your that starved for pet affections lol

21 6
outoftown 26

39 - My cat did that. A friend told me her dog did that after the dry food got mold and upset his stomach. I didn't smell mold, but got him fresh food; problem solved.

1 4
Eaglestrike117 29

Would you kill your cat? Because that would defeat the point.

1 4
ManInTheMachine 19

Doesn't change the quality of the comment.

52 9
Catkam623 27

I was just trying to save myself from the rain of grammar Nazis about to come after me

38 2
Welshite 39

Grammar Nazis don't patter softly like a gentle drizzle. They swoop down upon you; descending like half-crazed vultures. They feed off your misery and revel in your pain. Most of their victims are lucky to escape alive. You corrected yourself just in time.

89 1
DanielleinDC 33

Unfortunately, spell check won't catch if you used a possessive pronoun where you should have used a contraction.

28 4
Catkam623 27

^Here we have the not so uncommon ... English teacher

18 1
Bubbelz 25

That depends on which spell check is used. However, self-correction deserved a thumbs up at any time.

1 0
DanielleinDC 33

#87, I'm not an English teacher, just a grammar snob transcriptionist.

1 2
Jac_d_ipper 10

**** *******, they always behave like *****...

5 34
Catkam623 27

Jack that word is disgusting and I'm not even female

17 2
kthuts 7

For the record Jac had an awesome point. Sadly, nobody else will see the humor in it.

1 7
Bubbelz 25

Which word are you talking about? Is it "behave"? Or "****"? If you truly cannot face these terrible words, please refrain from plugging in your computer's power cable. Now unplug it. Save your soul!

1 5
ironichalibut 24

Cats can often be assholes, and assholes often fart. The equation was right in front of you, just under the surface. You could've prevented this.

202 11
ALlamaOnFire 20

Is that why you own a tiger instead? :')

15 1
ironichalibut 24

29- When I was a kid and I got him I was insanely excited, we did everything together. I remember sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings with him. Through the years we've fought and made up more times than I can remember, he's my closest friend. I'm older now though, and when he tackles me when I get home I just can't bounce back like a kid, and his giant tiger farts are just horrendous.

39 0
SomeRandomGuy15 18

30- You just made me want a pet tiger...

21 0
WildaRora 43

Which proves he knows what he is talking about.

0 0
padajuan 11

Cats are assholes. The sooner you realise this and start upping your affection and annoying it to get revenge, the better.

18 62
1R1X0X0 10

Something must be wrong with you..

22 3
samcro3 8

Time to quit buying the cheap cat food....

68 3
klovemachine 24

Meow Mix...the food cats ask for by name...MEOW :-D

12 1
outoftown 26

Or too much good stuff in bulk. Dry cat food can get moldy and cause farting.

1 0
igive 29

The cat is trying out for Monty Python. "I fart in your general direction!"

25 0
kait11 16

It makes you wonder what really goes through their minds... Maybe the Egyptians were onto something

45 0
DyslexicPanda 12

World domination duh.. don't you watch movies?

5 0
HowieDoIt 21

Do you like 2% because it resembles milk or something?

20 4
gc327072 30

No, I've encountered precisely 100 cats, and I liked 2 of them.

31 0
ManInTheMachine 19

58: Please don't start this infantile debate. We might as well be "screaming" our political views at each other for the next hour.

16 1
gracehi 31

SEQUESTRATION IS A GIANT CONSPIRACY!!! Oh, wait, that was a "no" on doing that. My bad.

12 1
RaspberryCookies 6

#65 it's not a debate, it's simply a well known fact. Dogs, if well trained, are reliable and obedient. All a cat does is piss and shit and mess everything up, on top of make annoying naggy noises all day because it's being selfish... No matter how good you "train" it. Sorry if you can't agree.

1 2
SpazTheGreat 14

Aww, how cute, you like "training" things to be "obedient". We've recently been adopted by an outdoor cat who, while absolutely loves to force his way in our house, is the most docile cat I've ever meet. Incredibly "well-behaved" and is perfectly content just being in the same room. However, he loves his stomach being rubbed.

1 0