By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 853
You deserved it 4 625
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

For ****'s sake, people! How many trite, overused goddamned pussy jokes are you people going to make? New material! NOW!

63 7
Ambient25 24

Well sounds like you're not getting or playing with any pussy tonight...

51 5

Comments

LightningCactus 12

You're a lucky man! You have two ******* to play with!

10 2
Cheeley 17

34- He sure does, it just seems as though one of them is a little too rough.

8 1
Danielle7994 18

It seems like they both treated him poorly

10 2
Ambient25 24

Well sounds like you're not getting or playing with any pussy tonight...

51 5
brammerderambam 8

Bring it back to te vet again and come back with a dog ;)

38 6
Ambient25 24

A pelt or dog, both work. Preferably a Husky though :)

6 4
klimpomppp 9

Husky & exquisite feline pelt bed. Problem solving like a sir

6 5
noelasis94 18

You should have sang pussy cat pussy cat I love you yes I do, the cat might have only bit you once.

4 15
Ambient25 24

or "cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance"

17 3
kmccain 27

or "soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr."

15 1
Ambient25 24

or "and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon"

8 2
Knightchaser27 25

But the cat isn't sick

2 1
NickaPLZ 26

A woman's love for her cat is strong.

24 2
Prolux_fml 23

56 - Why "Poor kitty"? It's with it's owner at home. What a rough life.

8 1
ThePsyche 9

Next time, forget to come back with the cat.

9 3
Wizardo 33

What can we say, she loves her pussy more than a dick...

5 22
Ambient25 24

a moment of silence for our fallen comrade

25 0
DocBastard 38

For ****'s sake, people! How many trite, overused goddamned pussy jokes are you people going to make? New material! NOW!

63 7
Ambient25 24

Hey man we're limited by creativity lol

11 9
ThePsyche 9

Seriously, these ****** jokes aren't funny, period.

7 18
Wizardo 33

Yo Doc, you glad you're not training to become a gynaecologist?

12 3
Pleonasm 35

Thank goodness someone around here is setting things straight.

10 4
ManInTheMachine 19

New material? Okay, here it goes... I'd like to paws and apologize, OP, for your wife's complete disregard fur your feelings. Purr-haps she didn't realize you got injured? Or maybe she was lion about being with her cat, and is really cheetahng on you? I'd say you have tabby open to all possibilities. Still, I hope you'll be feline better soon. ..that's all I've got, I'm all out of puns.

29 2
Ambient25 24

A little Liger on the cat references and this would have been purr-fect

8 1
gc327072 30

Ehh MITM, we have a lot of puns too, but in the wake of all the pussy jokes, that's much better.

2 2
ThePsyche 9

I was just kitten, Doc. I apawlogize if I offended anyone, claws frankly I'm a very nice purrson.

8 1
JadeWinter 16

*claps hands* that was thoroughly entertaining! Love it :P

3 5
perdix 29

#12, Today, I almost killed something about 20 times my size that would have given me fresh meat for about 3 months. It got away and it's mate insists on stroking me. FML. or In Soviet Russia, pussy eats man!

11 2