By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 770
You deserved it 3 544
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Top comments

HowAreYouToday 34

Angry birds IRL.

76 3

Comments

Pleonasm 35

It's Birdemic all over again! Watch out for the explosive acid divebombs, and remember to use your coathanger wisely.

26 7
HowAreYouToday 34

Angry birds IRL.

76 3
skittlestrailmix 14

Those are probably mocking birds. Those are vicious. My friend had to call animal control because of them.

2 6
ironichalibut 24

Yessss, as soon as the pigs steal their eggs, they shall be distracted. That is when you shall strike. HsssSssSssSsss.

1 1
HowAreYouToday 34

I don't know what's going on, but to clarify as clarity is obviously needed, IN ANGRY BIRDS YOU SHOOT BIRDS WITH PIGS. Thank you for your time . Capt. Obvious, out.

3 12
da_directioner39 17

You shoot pigs with birds, not the other way around. So unless we are distracting the birds, I don't know how the pigs would help. I also don't know where one could possibly find green pigs.

7 2
HowAreYouToday 34

By golly you're right. I didn't notice my mistake. I'm so ashamed.

2 3
Shmatterhorn 38

Time to call Animal Control. There might be a slight problem if the nest has eggs in it, though.

11 1
theboy13 13

Try moving it without harming the nest, put it in a tree or somewhere else, if there's eggs, then be really careful

3 13
Shmatterhorn 38

I would recommend asking the local Animal Control to do that. They're better equipped to do that.

16 2
ohjoy15 33

Through telekinesis? OP can't get within five feet of the nest without being attacked.

16 1
lilhellian 26

Don't bird leave the nest if you touch it?

3 7
ArielTheMermaid 17

14, that's just a myth

7 1
AngrySailor 17

#7 did you write that on your Mac book pro while drinking a $12 Starbucks coffee? Do you or have you lived in a rural setting? Move the ******* nest. It's YOUR house, not the birds. It won't harm a thing if you place it in a proper setting. FML for having read your stupidity.

15 7
Joe9024 20

Just when I though all hope was lost, 46 comes up with a simple solution to an easy problem. Animal control? C'mon.

0 2
not_a_robot 15

You have to show the birds who the boss is, OP. So just give them a shit ton of paperwork and make them work weekends. They will learn real soon, I assure you.

0 1
malheartsnutmeg 20

I use to have a pair of doves do this on my porch. As mean as it sounds - remove the best or they'll keep returning yearly.

15 1
malheartsnutmeg 20

Oops, just noticed - that should be nest.

5 0
ironichalibut 24

Yes, remove the best, and the worst will follow. :)

1 0
klutz44 28

I had barn swallows on my porch. After removing the nest (no eggs) I had to put up barriers to keep them from building a new one. And by "me" I mean "my husband" because I'm deathly afraid of birds.

4 0
malheartsnutmeg 20

Yeah #49, took me 3 years of destroying their nest and blocking the area before they got the message.

0 1
Joshwarrior 39

49 I recommend you watch the movie birds. They are so cute there, and you will never be afraid again.

5 0
lishajoy777 14

You sir, are a meanie pants. Dont do it 49 Dont do it!

3 0
Joshwarrior 39

Awe lisha you spoiled the fun. :( lol

2 0
perdix 29

Badminton racquet. Designed for swatting birdies (or shuttlecocks ;) )

17 3
TourettesGuyFTW 25

Birdie, you say? A golf club would do the trick too.

3 1
iAlissa 34

No... Just no. Those are living creatures. They're just protective parents. Shooting them is the worst possible thing to do.

5 3
PiNkMoOn 9

it's beautiful that you have a piece of nature in your room!

3 9
DKjazz 20

Ever heard the expression, "Two birds, one stone"? Guess it's time find a stone.

24 1