Sex, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: Sexy boy

Sexy boy

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 11:56 - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 702

You deserved it 4 229

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Same thing different taste

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 178

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 04:10 - United States - Seattle

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 7 271

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 524

You deserved it 18 323

By Noname - 13/03/2009 15:49 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 719

You deserved it 12 916

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Good night

By iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles - 12/08/2013 14:30 - United States - Mabank

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 426

You deserved it 4 447

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 02:04 - United States - Plano

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 544

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 276

You deserved it 4 585

Social reform, please

By Pepsi - 06/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 155

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

"I did not have sexual relations with that blanket" - Senator Dog

BubbleGrunge 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

You better watch your ass OP! After all, you were cuddling with the dogs lover all night!

Comments

BubbleGrunge 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

You better watch your ass OP! After all, you were cuddling with the dogs lover all night!

Dracoboxer357 35

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:37

......(awaits a tasteless 3-some joke involving Op, the dog, and the blanket.....) :p

RoboCunnilingus 23

Thursday 18 July 2013 4:16

Keep waiting.

hemz_fml 13

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:45

My dog does the same thing

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

"I did not have sexual relations with that blanket" - Senator Dog

RoboCunnilingus 23

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:49

Monica Chewinski.

ironichalibut 24

Wednesday 17 July 2013 21:03

Aren't they all just dogs?..

byron17 26

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:23

Why did I read this in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice?!?! o.0

pmwws 3

Saturday 20 July 2013 6:48

I think you mean president dog.

Watermelon2011 6

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:31

Well damn....

saIty 17

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:32

You didn't realize the.. crustiness?

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:44

I bet it was... clammy.

saIty 17

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:54

With a hint of loss of dignity.

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:28

Again- really need to stop reading during breakfast :o

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Wednesday 17 July 2013 18:24

Or lunch.

timelessone 16

Wednesday 17 July 2013 18:44

or consuming fluids.

sisco2901 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:21

or lying under a blanket with a dog in the house.

barricadebabe 15

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:32

Hope you didn't get the sent on you... good luck OP.

barricadebabe 15

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:33

****, scent. Goddamn autocorrect, scent is a ******* word.

LaLince 40

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:32

Did it taste good?

Dracoboxer357 35

Wednesday 17 July 2013 17:25

6- Taste good?? You typically Eat the blanket you're using to keep warm? O.o Interesting. Well okay then, no judgments... ;P

molzipan 16

Wednesday 17 July 2013 18:01

I've been doing it wrong this whole time?

Uramonkey 11

Wednesday 17 July 2013 21:29

Maybe OP likes dog cum?

AverageJoey 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:32

Be Careful you dont want the dog to start giving you the "love" eyes

omg36 7

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:29

"I call it the baby maker"

shorty6823 28

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:33

My little dog has a stuffed animal for that. She also likes to hold on to it when cuddling people...

olpally 32

Wednesday 17 July 2013 16:33

Taking doggy style to a whole new level... Literally. Lol. I suggest taking a shower and burning your clothes like jim Carey did in ace Ventura: pet detective :D haha.