Animals: Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above.... - FML

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

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Same thing different taste

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 834

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 473

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 3 639

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 383

You deserved it 1 120

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 132

Nice bird

By Sick - 01/01/2020 01:00 - Netherlands - Ede

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 988

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 449

You deserved it 943

All in a day's work!

By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 813

You deserved it 169

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 197

Rained on

By smellyhand - 16/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 34 072

Next

Top comments

Ambient25 24

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:28

I hope you didn't have your mouth open

gc327072 30

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:29

Damn, it's only Wednesday and you're already getting shitfaced? I wanna party with you, OP!

Comments

Boopycat 15

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:27

So many puns to be made

AntiPrude 26

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:37

Maybe you should of tried it.

Soniye 14

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:55

Shitfaced already are we now OP ?! Lol

swaggalikethat 22

Thursday 7 November 2013 13:41

Birds: Chirp chirp (hey Op,look up!) Op: "looks up, gets shitted on" Birds:"laughing, high fiveing each other, fly away" Shoulda blew those little bastards right outta the sky, that would show them

x_the_lancer_x 13

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:28

Ehh, you gotta be careful about those things! But still, there really wasn't anything you could have done about that. FYL!

michaelaranda 28

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:39

op could've just kept walking. still, its not a ydi.

Ambient25 24

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:28

I hope you didn't have your mouth open

little_excel 5

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:32

Yup facefull is so much better than mouthful haha

Ambient25 24

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:36

Lol just Google "Reporter Bird Poop"

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Thursday 7 November 2013 8:49

#15 Exactly what I thought of!

aligator121 15

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:28

Shhhhh! It's just some sticky snow

Daryen_rawwwr 7

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:28

what a SHITTY situation. First pun c;

gc327072 30

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:31

This pun is so ******* overused; I'VE HAD IT!

AntiPrude 26

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:36

You just had to add "First pun" at the end, didnt you..

cuppycakeslove 20

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:36

Just stop.

Ambient25 24

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:40

See this is why aliens won't talk to us

PenguinBitch 43

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:59

@5 First pun and your last

evan_7899 28

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:59

Exactly, what if the first transmission they get is Honey Boo Boo and they are so repulsed by the human garbage they are so they just blow us to fiery hell with their mega laser.

tman1985 9

Thursday 7 November 2013 9:00

I would be afraid to see the FML that this pun does not get buried for

neuroticallyyour_fml 17

Thursday 7 November 2013 16:23

No, just no.

gc327072 30

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:29

Damn, it's only Wednesday and you're already getting shitfaced? I wanna party with you, OP!

lissa_jade 22

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:33

did you honestly expect that NOT to happen ?

Allennis44 16

Thursday 7 November 2013 6:17

Yes?

Jseldi 10

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:33

I think you scared the shit out of it :/

saraitkddh 47

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:33

I just hope none entered your mouth or eyes

AntiPrude 26

Thursday 7 November 2013 0:33

Struck by flying shit. Theres a more majestic way to think of it.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

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You deserved it 1 355

Today, I’m 15 and my mother banned me from watching YouTube because it’s "distracting." What the f***? How? Now I have to pretend that I've watched the things my friends send me so they won’t know. FML

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The Top

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

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You deserved it 3 584

Today, as usual, I went to pick up my brother and sister from school in the rain. When we got to my truck, I realized I had locked us out. We had to walk home in the rain, only to find the spare house key had not been put back in its spot since the last time it was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 730

You deserved it 2 914

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I agree, your life sucks 12 767

You deserved it 1 157

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 027

You deserved it 5 687

Today, after moving hundreds of miles to take care of my beloved grandmother and working like mad for a week to make the house cozy and accessible for her, it was finally time to bring her home. Or it would have been, if she hadn’t died in her sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 126

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 743

You deserved it 6 397