Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 156

You deserved it 68 078

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 936

You deserved it 7 026

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 525

You deserved it 5 516

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 239

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188

You deserved it 6 582

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 2 944

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 931

You deserved it 5 320

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 4 125

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 4 318

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 128

You deserved it 13 601

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 709

You deserved it 721

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

whjmsical 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:10

wow. i can not even comprehend how you could see this as an FML. there are no words insulting enough to describe how i feel about you.

pike94 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:10

******* tease

cracktus 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:13

What the hell is wrong with all of you people? Hot coffee is the UNIVERSAL code for "sex at my place." How are you not aware of this?

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:52

#316. What would you say if you wanted to invite someone in to mess around? The girl was playing the game correctly. The OP was a dumbass and should have made a move... not called her out on it. There's nothing 'creepy' about using universal code to be subtle and a little more suave dating. And inviting your boyfriend in for sex or thinking sex with your girlfriend after a nice night out is not 'pervy.'

corme_fml 0

Friday 12 March 2010 3:11

"Wanna come inside?" doesn't imply you want to have sex either...

themajorstoner 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:15

LOL YDI

doofus 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:19

you are a perv.

CharliePoops 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:19

YDI for mistaking dessert for actual desert, idiot...

broke_otaku 3

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:19

ydi why must men constantly think of sex?

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:57

Because if we don't... who will? TwT

oooCANDLEMANooo 2

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:21

You don’t want to get her pregnant she’s obviously stupid. EVERYONE knows what “coffee” is code for. She probably thinks the guys in the movies say “i really shouldnt” because they are afraid if they have a coffee they might stay awake too long and then be late for work in the morning. BUT if you hadnt have been so quick off the mark, prectically beggin for it, you probably would have gotten lucky anyway.

roobear 2

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:30

I think the key detail is that he's calling her his girlfriend, but she thinks he's a pervert for expecting sex. This sounds like a clear miscommunication to me - e.g. he's a friend to her, but he wants more. I can't see how else that could happen - if they REALLY were boyfriend/girlfriend, she wouldn't think he was perverted for wanting sex. At worst, she could say she was too tired or whatever. Or they're not boyfriend/girlfriend but she did invite him back to her place for "coffee" (as others have mentioned, 99% of the time this means sex so if that's not what she had in mind, she should revise what she invites him back to her place to do), and he just messed it up / turned her off somehow (probably by acting like he was entitled to sex or asking too aggressively or possibly even being pathetic about it). I can't see any other way for this to happen. Chill out and go with the flow, man.

nicko_oz 4

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:45

but she didn't say come back for coffee she came said come back for hot dessert and coffee... No one says hot dessert as a reference for sex. I agree with your comment about them obviously not really being boyfriend and girlfriend in the case that she was so disgusted in the idea of sex with him