Love, Awkward, Coffee and Harassment: Joe Smooth

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/12/2023 18:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 1 107

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Same thing different taste

By joanikens - 26/03/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 091

You deserved it 6 117

By brannonjames - 10/05/2012 22:20 - United States

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 421

You deserved it 2 346

Smiley smile

By Eh.. - 05/12/2018 04:00 - Israel

Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469

You deserved it 1 596

By oopsiecoffee - 09/04/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 76 710

By lisa321 - 02/04/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 519

You deserved it 116 429

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 890

You deserved it 97 258

By 6u174r_d00d - 10/08/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 040

You deserved it 6 124

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 239

You deserved it 7 138

Smooth

By firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 2 575

True, but come on…

By scared to leave the house - 20/08/2012 09:14 - Canada - Williams Lake

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 2 418

FluffythePink 19

Saturday 9 December 2023 19:27

It didn't work? You must not have tipped your fedora at her quite right.

Razath 17

Sunday 10 December 2023 9:15

Next time you should try, 'I think you're cute, want to go for a coffee sometime?'. Oh, and also don't hit on people while they're working and you're a customer, probably.

Comments

FluffythePink 19

Saturday 9 December 2023 19:27

It didn't work? You must not have tipped your fedora at her quite right.

Razath 17

Sunday 10 December 2023 9:15

Next time you should try, 'I think you're cute, want to go for a coffee sometime?'. Oh, and also don't hit on people while they're working and you're a customer, probably.

rebelwithmouseyhair 18

Monday 11 December 2023 10:29

He shouldn't even try the line you suggest. She's at work and has to smile at him to keep her job. He needs to back off and let her do her job. Luckily she knows how to brush him off. But it's a real pain for pretty women, having to fend jerks off like that while trying to get a good job of work done.