Love and Health: Thanks babe...

Thanks babe...

By okaykk - 05/09/2018 13:00

Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 223

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 2 009

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 916

You deserved it 4 005

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 004

You deserved it 53 143

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 856

You deserved it 5 771

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 683

You deserved it 9 440

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 4 957

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 11:02 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 137

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 127

You deserved it 625

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 983

You deserved it 957

By Stinky - 20/11/2011 10:23 - United States

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 183

You deserved it 4 892

darkshadus 10

Wednesday 5 September 2018 13:02

Depending on your personal preference you either need a new water bottle or fiancé

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 5 September 2018 13:29

At least now you have a free pass to piss on something he likes. So yeah, live the dream.

Comments

darkshadus 10

Wednesday 5 September 2018 13:02

Depending on your personal preference you either need a new water bottle or fiancé

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 5 September 2018 13:29

At least now you have a free pass to piss on something he likes. So yeah, live the dream.

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 5 September 2018 13:40

Why was he peeing in your water bottle?

Petra Grote 20

Wednesday 5 September 2018 14:16

Who said it was a man ? 😂

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 5 September 2018 16:33

Fiance generally refers to a man. Fiancee refers to a woman. Sometimes the terms gets mixed up though.

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 5 September 2018 19:27

How exactly is a woman supposed to pee in a water bottle? Peeing in a cup is hard enough.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 September 2018 17:05

You mean he peed in his favorite urine bottle. That’s the law of the jungle! I hope you get a chance to pee on his paycheck!

_Hakuna_Matata_ 12

Wednesday 5 September 2018 21:24

That must've been a real eye opener.

1ninjanina 7

Wednesday 5 September 2018 23:31

Was he drunk?

cylon_god 4

Thursday 6 September 2018 3:22

Boy, he really wants you to stay hydrated.

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The Top

Today, I realized that after decades of crappy retail jobs, when I left my last one praying to God that I'd never have to work retail again, I got my wish. Brain surgery put me in a wheelchair for life and I can do very little with my limbs. Be careful what you wish for, perspective is everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 69

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 120

You deserved it 16 831

The Top

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 903

You deserved it 6 013

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 2 853

Today, after missing my flight and being stuck on the other side of the globe, I received a call telling me that the "male, neutered" kitten I adopted 7 months ago is now pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 470

You deserved it 1 409

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 343

Today, I got my precalculus final back from my teacher. I got a 17%. I told her that there had to be some mistake, because my classmate had the same answers as me and she got 100%. Not only did I accidentally admit to cheating, but our test papers had different questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 2 685

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 1 018

Thanks babe...

Same thing different taste

Completely wet

Drunken antics

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