Intimacy: Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop,... - FML

By gerligrl97 - 12/06/2011 18:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 098

You deserved it 12 693

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Same thing different taste

Gone

By december2009 - 04/01/2010 03:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 9 970

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 538

You deserved it 3 919

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 03:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 35 050

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 183

You deserved it 2 911

By faded as shit - 27/09/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 597

You deserved it 5 356

By Sad - 28/04/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 422

You deserved it 15 327

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 983

You deserved it 2 906

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 790

You deserved it 4 067

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 896

You deserved it 3 824

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 20:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 172

You deserved it 3 805

Next

Top comments

futtbuck101 1

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:30

you better get that food back

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:28

Yet you call him your "boyfriend".

Comments

georggx 3

Monday 13 June 2011 1:14

better claim your virginity back en!

CookieMonstur 0

Monday 13 June 2011 1:20

call the cops. don't post on FML. idiot

BraBrando 0

Monday 13 June 2011 3:36

maybe the cops are reading?

Nemmycakes 3

Monday 13 June 2011 17:00

maybe she already did?

foilindo 0

Monday 13 June 2011 1:22

everything was ok. but the iPhone?! now he just went too far!!! lol

DeLpHe3zY 7

Monday 13 June 2011 1:22

thats a real bummer

Zebidee 8

Monday 13 June 2011 1:30

Well, now you're ******.

felah17 6

Monday 13 June 2011 1:51

Literally!!

SmexiLexii 3

Monday 13 June 2011 1:35

You mean your EX boyfriend.

Zeb_McBride 0

Monday 13 June 2011 2:07

wanna by my future ex?

corje20 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 21:08

hey I like ur style on life. so really where do u live

annihil8or 15

Monday 13 June 2011 1:36

Damn u need to call the cops u just got robbed

nickfraxer 0

Monday 13 June 2011 1:39

that is an altogether bad day...

ericka216 0

Monday 13 June 2011 1:53

well, since he's such an AMAZING boyfriend, when he does'NT give you, everything but you virginity, back.. then call the police!!

felah17 6

Monday 13 June 2011 1:59

Hey,babe! this is your boyfriend. I took the liberty of taking some of your useless stuff...Figure you didn't mind.You were awesome! Next time we do it at my pad. You know,under the bridge.I've got a slightly soiled,but good mattress!!! Love ya! Bye!!

soulfulemo 0

Monday 13 June 2011 6:23

I honestly do not know what to say to that,..but wow

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Keywords

Plumbing Miscellaneous DIY Transportation Awkward Relatable Work Embarrassing Clothes Fire Love My ex Bodyshaming Health Kids Parents Cute AITA Relationship advice Jealousy Pregnancy Customers Break-ups Weird Shopping Romantic Texting Family Racism Death

The Top

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 533

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

The Top

Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 166

Today, like most weekends, I got swindled into being the designated driver for our group. Too bad this weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 211

You deserved it 1 463

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 1 586

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 154

Today, I took my temperature since I've had a cold for a few days. After reading the display, I noticed the sheath had "Lily" written on it. Lily is our golden retriever. It was in her ass yesterday after she had a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 1 529

Today, I took the wrong train and didn’t realise it until it arrived in Aberdeen. Eight hours from where I was meant to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 905