Today at college, a girl waiting outside the men's restroom asked...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 05:28

Today at college, a girl waiting outside the men's restroom asked me to hand her some paper towels because there were none in the women's restroom, so I obliged. This takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year down to -1. FML.

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You deserved it 8

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Cats Holidays Gifts Awkward Shopping Friends Relatable Health Hair Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Sex Intimacy Neighbours Cops Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

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Today, my bank, being overly paranoid about fraud, declined my Christmas purchase on Amazon because I usually don't spend that much all at once. Instead of Amazon simply asking to try the card again, they instead switched to a different card in the wallet. Which would be fine, except it's a shared family account. FML

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You deserved it 127

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had two kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

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The Top

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 132

Today, I had an appointment. After 2 hours of waiting in the sun, my mom finally picked me up and lectured me on how irresponsible my dad was for not communicating with her. Not 5 minutes after I got home, my dad showed up and gave me the same exact lecture about my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 883

You deserved it 1 011

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 181

Today, my son rejected a job offer because it interferes with the streaming schedule of some Twitch dirtbag. He's 19. FML

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You deserved it 213

At least he's honest!

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 70

Today, my older brother asked me to go get his phone on his bed. I was in a good mood, so I did. He then continued, laughing, “don’t mistake it for the sex toys and used condoms!” I thought he was joking, but there were actually sex toys and used condoms on his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 133