Today, during sex, my boyfriend told me "it's so sexy when you...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By like a sexy meat thermometer - 19/10/2017 19:48

Today, during sex, my boyfriend told me "it's so sexy when you get horny and your asshole pops out." Uh, great honey, thanks, but that's a hemorrhoid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 5

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Christmas Cute Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Hair Health Friends Relatable Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Intimacy Cops Sex Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

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Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 328

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 418

You deserved it 5 771

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Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 147

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a guy I have a bit of a crush on. Trying to break the awkward silence, I made a joke about our situation, saying, "Well, at least we're not on a desert island." He replied, "Yeah, but I'd still prefer the island; at least then I could escape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 142

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 544

You deserved it 4 562

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 3 710

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 292

You deserved it 236

Today, I'd agreed to watch my friend's cats for a few weeks. I'd always promised myself not to become a "crazy cat lady" like her. It's the third day and I danced with the cats and apologised to them for my bad dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 502