Today, I met an Internet friend in real life for the first time...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By oh god - 26/08/2017 06:30

Today, I met an Internet friend in real life for the first time and we had steak for dinner. I bit into a beef rib and I guess I hit a huge artery because it spurted blood everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 11

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Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

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Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 73

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, I caught my 10 year-old in the closet, naked, on his hands and knees, eating cat food straight from the bag. He'd torn a hole in the side of the bag, cat food was everywhere. We have plenty of food in the house, but he wants to be a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 914

You deserved it 525

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 155

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 965

You deserved it 1 523

Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 1 528

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 4 353

Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 1 813