Intimacy: Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Antioch

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 226

You deserved it 2 331

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Same thing different taste

By hannah - 26/06/2019 18:05

Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 356

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 3 318

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 154

The winds of change

By Fuck me. - 20/08/2022 22:00

Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 150

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Spicy

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 4 462

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 14 351

By Sadman - 23/04/2011 08:37 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 208

You deserved it 10 814

By reyoflight - 19/04/2013 22:04 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 440

You deserved it 7 416

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 203

You deserved it 5 850

Next

Top comments

Kurby14 21

Sunday 27 March 2016 7:22

Time to look for some brain bleach

captainsmegma 12

Sunday 27 March 2016 8:16

Queefing, your vag's way of saying "bring me more dick"!

Comments

Omglifeishard 4

Monday 28 March 2016 5:41

"Mom where is the bleach?" " I need to bleach my brain"

cheshireau 26

Monday 28 March 2016 5:59

Please forgive my ignorance but how else can the ****** expel the air that goes in? It's essentially a Fanny Fart.

Muttley9 13

Monday 28 March 2016 11:39

If you were delivered vaginally, perhaps your own delivery stretched out her birth canal causing the problem noted. As for the actual act its self, my eldest step sister compared it to "******** a bowling ball."

InfiniteSunshine 32

Monday 28 March 2016 19:15

It doesn't work like that, the ****** always goes back go it's original state, even after birth. It's just made of muscles, equivalent to the ones that control your mouth. When you smile or stretch your mouth, it goes back to normal, and it works the same for the ******.

gohaz933 9

Wednesday 30 March 2016 21:14

Call your therapist and tell him he is a rich man.

cho_bee 9

Monday 6 June 2016 5:10

You need a bottle of Jack, or a blunt; perhaps both. I need to run to the bathroon before I pee my pants...

Roll_a_D20 7

Monday 6 June 2016 23:01

This app sucks all the good comments are majority disliked and all the bad ones are liked WAY too much and frankly most of the people on this app are freaking idiots

Roll_a_D20 7

Monday 6 June 2016 23:03

this app is stupid the good comments are downvoted the bad ones are invited and most of the people that use it are idiots

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The Top

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 132

You deserved it 5 885

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 41 881

The Top

Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him on. After five minutes, he says, "Could you stop making animal noises, I feel like I’m fucking in a farmyard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 101

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 855

You deserved it 3 549

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 506

You deserved it 38 987

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 422

You deserved it 4 347

Today, I spent thirty minutes ringing up a Guinea pig and supplies for a customer who talked like a sloth, all while she argued with over the price of everything, only for her to return it all five minutes later because her sister had "changed her mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 119

Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 364