Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me...

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 614

You deserved it 15 433

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Same thing different taste

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 132

You deserved it 274

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 160

You deserved it 11 993

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 422

You deserved it 8 899

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 505

You deserved it 6 853

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 7 570

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 4 763

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 172

You deserved it 4 850

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 531

You deserved it 20 744

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 501

You deserved it 36 966

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 5 725

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:04

I hope you made him a sandwich.

ihatewankers 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.

Comments

ddrluna 2

Monday 27 July 2009 19:06

Everyone saying he's got a great sense of humor must be really thick. In case you guys noticed, this joke is extremely old and is tired. Can I tell a knock knock joke a hundred times and be told I have a great sense of humor? No. I don't get why this is different. Srs. I laughed the first several times I saw it. But now it's got about as much humor value as someone posting the 'chicken crossed the road' joke.

wootness 0

Monday 27 July 2009 19:09

Oh I love my state. Your boyfriend knows how to get what he wants rofl

alfonzo 0

Monday 27 July 2009 19:17

I lol'd when I saw this was in "intimacy."

SomeonePosting 0

Monday 27 July 2009 19:23

The OP's boyfriend is awesome! Sure, it was probably a minor buzz kill to expect **** and get sandwich making, but come on, that's funny. At least he didn't link you to pain series or some shit.

CFR 0

Monday 27 July 2009 19:45

What is with men and their need for sandwiches? It's never "Bitch, go make me some lasagna" or "Dammit woman I want cookies." OP, the next time you're horny, just pounce him.