Animals: Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one...

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 015

You deserved it 6 492

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 865

You deserved it 10 779

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 372

You deserved it 6 379

Thanks, Marley

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 08:08

Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 268

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 3 362

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 203

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 180

You deserved it 5 710

It's a doggy dog world

By Patrick - 14/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Sulphur

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 4 079

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 237

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 123

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 801

You deserved it 5 447

save_me_08 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:05

"...and that's how I met your mother."

Pink_n_Twizted 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:03

F your life??? F her life!! Bet she'd change places with you in a heart beat

Comments

IAmBridgette 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:13

I think that dog wanted her more than you. He was just marking his territory LOL.

fALLyl 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 22:11

Was it a Cockblocker Spaniel?

waterontheknee 0

Friday 10 April 2009 1:24

**** blocked by your dog. sucks.

soozin 0

Friday 10 April 2009 4:22

agree with #58. not an fml imo.

tipple 0

Friday 10 April 2009 14:18

#61 - Awww - "and they called it , puppy love..." But seriously, thanks for posting back. ... And give our love to Madison and ... poo-foot.

pokurfayce 0

Friday 10 April 2009 18:24

wow. saw this in a magazine a few years ago.

noclevername 0

Friday 10 April 2009 18:24

In fairness, it's kind of noticeable when a dog is going to do that, so if you're taking an untrained puppy around it wouldn't hurt to keep your eyes open. Guess she didn't care if she called, but other people might.