Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. I asked what...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 01:23

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. I asked what she was doing and she said nothing. Respectfully I said okay. 10 minutes go by and I here "Babe, come get in the shower with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Health Family Awkward Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Drunk Love Poopoo peepee Dogs Animals Annoying Work My ex Religion Shopping AITA Break-ups Intimacy Cheating Am I overreacting? Delivery Furniture

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Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 797

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 062

You deserved it 4 778

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 869

Today, after thinking that if I had a good job I'd be OK, I just started a job making almost 30$ an hour. I still pray for death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 226

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 62 391

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 132

You deserved it 3 234

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 345

You deserved it 2 237