Today, I was walking home with a friend. When I got home, my...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By I'm innocent. - 26/08/2017 18:12

Today, I was walking home with a friend. When I got home, my mom bitched me out. Why? My friend's grandma called her, saying she saw me "beat him up." This has been one of many attempts to separate us for a 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 6

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Work Cute Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Friends Health Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Love Smells Painful First Dates Social Media Grieving

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Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 4 794

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 966

You deserved it 4 014

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Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 004

You deserved it 2 616

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 1 056

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 388

You deserved it 4 382

Today, while waiting at a bus stop, I took one Airpod out of my ear to put it in its case. However, it slipped out of my hand, and at that exact time, the bus pulled over and instantly crushed it. A replacement bud costs $95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 727

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 8 063

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 213

You deserved it 5 856