Dogs, Weird and Animals: Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge...

By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 472

You deserved it 3 433

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Same thing different taste

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 84 182

By dogggg - 14/07/2014 02:10 - India - Pune

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 733

You deserved it 9 630

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 852

You deserved it 1 520

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 159

You deserved it 9 122

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 150

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 3 362

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 815

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 363

You deserved it 35 752

By Lifeless - 01/06/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 422

You deserved it 12 445

Blahp 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 20:11

Yay for weird friends!

nikkers 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 20:23

least the dog only dared her to lick its ears...

Comments

swiftyyy 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:16

rebeccap_fml 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:18

lol no drink for her!

madbillyjoe23 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:30

simply wow :P

sjdjxjwn 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:35

first 7 times in a row wat the FUC k

rachiestarr 0

Monday 25 January 2010 5:48

run! run away!

catriona_cd 0

Monday 25 January 2010 5:50

keep her away from your dog, you just don't know what she will lick next :|

R3kli3 10

Monday 25 January 2010 8:13

she must be either krazy or stupid

Sdras 0

Monday 25 January 2010 8:47

I like your friend, she has a sense of humor. Unless she's very serious, then she needs help.

peacockfeather 0

Monday 25 January 2010 10:21

Life of the party right there.:)) Your friend sounds like a hoot.

georgelopez 0

Monday 25 January 2010 11:28

mmmm doggy ears bet they're tastey, but shouldn't the dog be licken her ears?????

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

Today, I went to a rave where apparently one of my favorite rappers was supposed to perform. I stood in line for 2 hours in the rain, got pushed and shoved, and had to witness a bunch of drunken idiots puke all over the place. Once I finally got to the front of the line, they closed the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 786

You deserved it 6 674

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Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 579

You deserved it 4 352

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 778

You deserved it 4 455

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 971

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 2 996

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 189

You deserved it 366

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 577

You deserved it 2 236

Same thing different taste

Social science

Yucky!

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