Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week....

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 082

You deserved it 2 862

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Same thing different taste

By violetbcracecar - 14/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Suisun City

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 589

You deserved it 948

Keep them to yourself, buddy

By minder97 - 17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 776

You deserved it 2 715

Super-spreading

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 17:59

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 95

By benjavel71 - 10/01/2017 11:13 - United States - Prairie Grove

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 802

You deserved it 9 051

By EastOneTen - 06/10/2012 07:28 - United States

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 320

You deserved it 3 523

By frustrated - 11/07/2013 04:52 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 821

You deserved it 3 582

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 16:17 - United Kingdom - Uddingston

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 150

You deserved it 3 970

Smell good

By Anonymous - 02/12/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 194

By sarahmaxine - 09/05/2015 04:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 570

You deserved it 2 108

By ItchItchBaby - 09/09/2017 13:00

Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 099

You deserved it 471

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:52

You are inferring all wrong. They are clearly telling you that you have bad breath, you stink, and you're going to get lice from the last person who slept on that bed.

FrankHotpants 31

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:51

just incase

Comments

sandiiiiiii 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 8:37

I'd go home.

SherriB_fml 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 8:54

That's pretty messed up!

lolaisagirl 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 9:09

Again.. because smelling your own pee every time you sleep at night during your stay, is the perfect revenge! also where are the grammar Nazis when you need them?

Brett121 6

Sunday 9 January 2011 9:12

wow ur dads a ass for not saying anything unless it was a joke and ur step mom is just friken phyco (unless u do have lice and stuff) so yeh FYL

Lichinamo 33

Thursday 15 March 2012 22:04

I can't help myself... *Your *dad's *an *your *fricking *psyhco *you *yeah

THExistentialist 13

Tuesday 10 April 2012 1:39

117- *psycho. grammar Nazi fail.

Zebidee 8

Sunday 9 January 2011 10:15

On day two, ask for more lice shampoo.

StevenSS 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 10:33

sure you don't.

maybaybe 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 11:03

Pee on their bed, pour the mouthwash on their pillows and then go home.

heyred 11

Sunday 9 January 2011 12:27

Get a hotel room and send the bill to dear old Dad. You are obviously not welcome there, so you might as well enjoy hotel **** on Dad's dime while proving your point.