Health: Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach...

By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 358

You deserved it 37 970

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Same thing different taste

By youreajoker - 10/11/2010 10:28 - Australia

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 553

You deserved it 19 658

By DevastatedWoman - 11/08/2015 15:30 - Belgium - Kalmthout

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 545

You deserved it 2 028

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 413

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 458

You deserved it 12 272

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 20:33 - Canada

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 595

You deserved it 4 298

Gender bending

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59

Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 2 582

By XxOx - 04/02/2010 01:18 - France

Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 7 709

By sadface - 03/02/2010 11:58 - France

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 054

You deserved it 9 096

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 619

feven 32

Thursday 5 March 2015 0:20

You should've said "I'm not a man" just to **** with him too

XxDanno316xX 27

Thursday 5 March 2015 0:19

You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!

Comments

FutBol_Fan_30 29

Thursday 5 March 2015 7:18

I hope you were just ******* with the doctor, otherwise that's really embarrassing OP

Sheepalicious 20

Thursday 5 March 2015 8:00

You shouldn't breed.

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 5 March 2015 8:50

When/if you actually do have a kid on the way, make sure he/she has more common sense than that...

pinque 19

Thursday 5 March 2015 10:40

What a dumbass

mattrd_fml 31

Thursday 5 March 2015 13:53

I agree with you OP you are really stupid.

42069666 18

Thursday 5 March 2015 19:55

once my period was 2 weeks late and I was thinking how I would tell my mum that I was gonna be the next virgin mary

stolenballoon 5

Thursday 5 March 2015 20:40

I bet that doctor told all his buddies about your reaction and they lol'd hard.

Le_ponderer 14

Thursday 5 March 2015 21:13

Hey OP, wanna buy London Bridge?

Joshawott 21

Thursday 5 March 2015 21:20

He's a doctor, so I'd take his word for it: you are a stupid guy.

doge71 8

Friday 6 March 2015 20:28

FYL for just being that stupid.

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Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 167

Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 248

The Top

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 679

Today, I got my very first paycheck of $129 for over 40 hours of work. I got paid roughly $3.00 an hour. Alaska minimum is $9.50 per hour, and my HR office is refusing to answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 094

You deserved it 174

Today, I’ve been abroad for three years, but flew home to visit. My parents had a surprise: my baby sister, who they kept secret from me so they could film my reaction. She’s so cute but they’re upset that I’m angry at them. Sorry, but sane people don’t keep a baby a fucking secret from its sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 177

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 067

You deserved it 21 176

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 5 694

Today, my fiancé and I were having dinner with my parents. My mom asked when we were thinking of having kids. My fiancé cheerfully said, “When pigs fly and Hell freezes over!” He’s right, but I was hoping to break the news a little more gently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 208

Same thing different taste

Gender bending

Planned parenthood

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