This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By HomelessForever - 15/03/2017 00:00

Today, my mother offered to buy me an apartment if I break up with my long-term partner. When he found out, he got mad when I told him I'd turned her down, because I was missing "a great opportunity." FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 511
You deserved it 559

Top comments

Does he realize its contingent upon you dumping him? Either he's a dunce or he's advising you about a lot more than real estate.

CaptainShalliwaffle 3

Op here. To be honest, it was a shocking and horrible offer I'd never accept on any level, but his "more logical" attitude is that we could pretend to break up until she gets me an apartment, then live in it together. Not only is that despicable for sooo many reasons, but I don't think it would work out as well as he thinks it would... This is not the first time she has tried to make this deal with me.

Comments

Explain it to him in a way he would understand

Plot twist: you only wanted an apartment to be free to have loud passionate sex with your long-term partner. It'd be like a… modern day The Gift of the Magi.

Does he realize its contingent upon you dumping him? Either he's a dunce or he's advising you about a lot more than real estate.

OP, pretend to break up with your boyfriend until after you get the apartment!

should have said yes and back stabbed her. I mean what's her problem with him if he's being respectful and loving towards you?

bobsanction 18

Break up with him, get the apartment, get back together. Duh.

CaptainShalliwaffle 3

Op here. To be honest, it was a shocking and horrible offer I'd never accept on any level, but his "more logical" attitude is that we could pretend to break up until she gets me an apartment, then live in it together. Not only is that despicable for sooo many reasons, but I don't think it would work out as well as he thinks it would... This is not the first time she has tried to make this deal with me.

This is the first thing I thought about. Break up, get the flat, get back together with him. I guess he and I are equally cynical.

Why does she hate him so much? Do you think she is truly right in wanting you to break up with him? It's not a very good character for him to want to try to pull one over on her. Good job to you though, for being honest and not trying to deceive your mother!

CaptainShalliwaffle 3

Op here. To be honest, it was a shocking and horrible offer I'd never accept on any level, but his "more logical" attitude is that we could pretend to break up until she gets me an apartment, then live in it together. Not only is that despicable for sooo many reasons, but I don't think it would work out as well as he thinks it would... This is not the first time she has tried to make this deal with me.

ACCOUNTKILLER 18

Yeah you could have pretended to break up or temporarily broken up, gotten the apartment and then moved in together to teach her a lesson for trying to be controlling and manipulative.