Intimacy: Warrior - FML

Warrior

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 13:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 590

You deserved it 3 307

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 541

You deserved it 4 560

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 140

You deserved it 4 018

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 167

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 709

You deserved it 7 865

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 764

You deserved it 9 820

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 7 570

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 240

You deserved it 4 254

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 328

You deserved it 26 868

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 245

You deserved it 7 592

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 949

You deserved it 6 529

Next

Top comments

The_Bengineer 13

Monday 21 September 2015 18:30

Sounds hot.

datkenna 20

Monday 21 September 2015 18:48

Who drinks coffee during sex

Comments

XDemetriX 3

Wednesday 23 September 2015 21:01

Soo....coffee + ******** time?

wildmouse 11

Thursday 24 September 2015 23:36

haha I'd do that

Kappikorie 9

Saturday 26 September 2015 5:17

I've had an alcoholic for a boyfriend and he would always drink his beer during sex it was the most annoying and upsetting thing ever!

ballerballerina 5

Saturday 26 December 2015 7:47

...Maybe it was a twist on hot wax?

cristy16 2

Thursday 21 April 2016 6:33

probably the only time he'd get you to scream.

Keywords

Work Geek Management Periods Health Sexism Relationship advice Dating Love Anxiety Relatable Embarrassing Restaurants Birthday Shopping Miscellaneous Clothes Cleaning Awkward Haircut Family Mental health Neighbours Weird Doctor Kids Parenting Christmas My ex Social Media

The Top

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 785

You deserved it 19 846

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 168

The Top

Today, I found out my husband's new income since leaving his old job. He decided to leave a $130,000 job for a $47,000 job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 441

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 842

You deserved it 3 739

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 757

You deserved it 337

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 264

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car and we got caught. He’s being detained because I’m underage. My parents were called and are on their way. I had told them I was studying for final exams with a classmate. I feel like I’m next in line on death row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 305

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 889

You deserved it 2 942