Weird excuse, but OK

By Nutty - 21/07/2019 00:04

Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 424

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Magic underwear

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 22:59

Today, my date decided not to have sex with me after she saw I wear Y-fronts, Tighty Whities to some of you, instead of boxers, so she couldn’t take me seriously as a grown man wearing underwear normally worn by children under 10 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 2 758

Knockout

By hwat? - 09/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 4 681

Dealbreaker

By Anonymous - 17/03/2015 07:46

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 262

You deserved it 22 910

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 15:23 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 524

You deserved it 4 236

Creepy thing to do, for sure

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 142

By DieTrying - 02/02/2012 09:31 - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 254

You deserved it 5 475

By dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 311

You deserved it 15 373

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 381

You deserved it 103 199

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 263

You deserved it 4 007

By LinaLinaYeah - 09/12/2011 16:26 - Canada

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 28 491

TxKitten79 10

Sunday 21 July 2019 1:07

So tell her that a real woman wouldn't be so ******* ridiculous

mekiswrite 21

Sunday 21 July 2019 1:05

As a girl, I don't care what a guy wears so long as everything is CLEAN and preferably no stains or funky smells.

Comments

alicelouise66 5

Sunday 21 July 2019 5:59

she's a Lunatic. dump her crazy ass.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 21 July 2019 6:41

You're both wrong. Real men wear underwear with the Batman symbol on them.

Sarah_360767614 8

Sunday 21 July 2019 8:50

What if your guy wears joe boxer? 😂

AmbrosiaFan 18

Sunday 21 July 2019 14:31

Wow and she isn't an ex ? She's batshit crazy.

bobsanction 18

Sunday 21 July 2019 20:04

Call her a lesbian.

BrotherPhil 35

Monday 22 July 2019 1:17

I think the appropriate response is that she is clearly not fit to have sex with you if she's so shallow - lucky escape!

lj19717 19

Tuesday 23 July 2019 1:40

She’s crazy. You should get out

randybryant799 20

Saturday 21 August 2021 23:17

And you want someone this ignorant as your girlfriend?

Keywords

Neighbours Cops Weird Miscellaneous Scary Stressed out Parents Health Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Love Facebook Social Media Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 659

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 693

The Top

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 978

You deserved it 2 744

Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 007

You deserved it 7 188

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 922

You deserved it 5 478

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 5 237

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 218

Today, while at the mall, I was traveling up the escalator on my way to the food court. When I neared the top, the handrail severely shocked me, causing me to drop a bag of China I had just bought, which fell to the bottom of the escalator and shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 468

You deserved it 531