Injury, Garden and Health: Boom!

Boom!

By JurassicHole - 22/04/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 207

You deserved it 4 470

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 974

You deserved it 26 213

By Lee - 10/04/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 930

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 715

You deserved it 13 715

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 292

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 279

You deserved it 3 559

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 24 017

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 345

You deserved it 15 864

mmmPoptarts 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:16

That's only if you're still fertile

jackson41 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

Comments

mmmPoptarts 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:16

That's only if you're still fertile

Hidur 10

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

The ground is fertile enough to grow weeds. It's practically mocking him!

iiTsAJ 5

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:33

Looks like we're going to have to wait and watch…

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:14

Did you also soil your pants?

alwaysrunnin 3

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:26

I feel bad for the poor guy. Yet the FML is funny, especially with 'future children already filing for abuse' and yet ironic cos fertile garden

yahoowizard 16

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:27

Thank you for that literary analysis 41. Really talked about stuff under the surface there. B+

Daederoth 10

Sunday 22 April 2012 14:55

And let's hope you're not. You probably should not reproduce if you posted a time you punched yourself in the nuts on FML.

xTwig 10

Monday 8 July 2013 5:00

I'm thinking around C- not a B+

The_DoritoNinja 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

Don't worry, just Mother Nature screwing with us again.

Zedd_fml 8

Sunday 22 April 2012 14:14

OP it's more like, you just punched your future children goodbye.

Sammmy7Rocks 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

If you have kids haha

The_Hitdude 12

Sunday 22 April 2012 15:26

Haha-- No. Think up a better joke next time. Douche.

itsharkley 8

Sunday 22 April 2012 18:11

Y U be a douche?!

lifesabitch77 0

Monday 23 April 2012 1:47

Don't be a bitch-_- #75 do you know what a douche is? But in this case it applies...

jackson41 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

yoursucklives 36

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:37

But I think it's very hard to punch a woman in the ovaries!

MissHayleyJames 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:16

Not really. It's actually quite easy but doesn't have the same impact that it does on testicles.

yoursucklives 36

Sunday 22 April 2012 9:27

What I meant to say with that comment, was, that testicals are more "visible" than ovaries.

goldfishgod 20

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:17

God bless you. Women are born with a finite number of eggs;men have countless & unlimited sperm.

HoboSmeller 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 10:55

@49- which **** has taught us usually ends up on girls faces and lower back.

Dimence 9

Sunday 22 April 2012 11:01

Well i thought that if the fabric gets damaged it won't produce more products? Must be a harder force I guess

Miss_Bethica 11

Sunday 22 April 2012 17:32

are you dumb? what do you think a period is lol.

nofearjenshere 12

Sunday 22 April 2012 17:41

. < This

itsharkley 8

Sunday 22 April 2012 18:12

OP was not worried about sperm count. He was worried about fertility. Wait. Im out of character. Y U no study biology?!

MissHayleyJames 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 19:29

Have you women never had a gyno exam before? It's really easy to reach your ovaries through your skin.

haycassidy 7

Monday 23 April 2012 2:07

Oh 81, I really hope you're joking.

MrBrightside21 20

Monday 23 April 2012 3:58

I heard that man has a limited amount of sperm, and can only have sex with about every woman in Europe, twice. Challenge accepted. ...Just kidding. That shit would hurt.