By Anonymous - 04/09/2013 17:28 - United States - Dell Rapids

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 144
You deserved it 7 262
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Top comments

SS99_fml 20

Tell him that if he wants fast finishing times to go have sex with his wife.

733 6
CheeseTron 15

woah. you don't wanna give your coach third degree burns.

148 2

Comments

SS99_fml 20

Tell him that if he wants fast finishing times to go have sex with his wife.

733 6
thebloodlegion 14

This is officially the best comment I've ever seen.

144 10
CheeseTron 15

woah. you don't wanna give your coach third degree burns.

148 2
oj101 33

Could someone please explain this comment to me? The grammar construction of it makes it confusing for me.

CheeseTron 15

30- He's basically implying that the coach suffers from premature ejaculation. lol

54 2
oj101 33

37 - Ok, still don't get it. Could someone please explain the FML to me like I'm a 5 year old, to put it into context.

4 69
Pleonasm 35

OP took a really long time to finish the race. The coach made fun of OP for it, stating that they almost took a year. Cue commentor saying that if the coach wanted a fast finish, the coach should have sex with his wife, implying that he doesn't last long in bed, and we all know that is the epitome of cumbacks.

93 2
theTrollGuy 7

My god #39! You're talking about cumbacks to a 5 year old! What's wrong with you!

71 2
Wizardo 33

Once in a while you see that legendary comment... this is one of those whiles.

45 2
oj101 33

Thanks 39. As for 51, I had read it just after I woke up, so my brain wasn't fully switched on :)

38 7
Ziggy122 15

Okay, you win at FML comments. Everybody else go home.

29 0
Ayden241 10

If it takes you this much time to understand a fml, maybe shouldn't even be here.

2 6
yoyoforpeace 14

Don't sweat it OP. You're not a track star and gym class is a joke! Cheer up :)

1 0
WoldowJR 25

Slowly begins clapping. Other people join in. There is suddenly a huge roar of applause. The entire crowd goes wild! People chant your name! #1! #1! #1!

2 1
geekchick88 17

At least you finished, OP! There were some people in my high school gym class who couldn't complete a mile, so you should be proud of yourself.

130 4
Perrydox 5

No offense..but proud to walk a mile? If you can't do a fuxking mile go see your doctor, it's not a damn marathon

25 16
j_729 18

Trust me, there are plenty of lazy, idiot teenage girls that don't know how to run.

26 9
QueenSaru 28

There are also those of us that have asthma and already blew our knee out at sixteen due to our joints being out of place. Just because we can't run a mile doesn't mean we're lazy. I bike to and from work every day, I just can't run or jog because it's high impact on my already ****** knees/joints.

38 2
geekchick88 17

#67, my school made exemptions in cases like yours. They were actually really cool about it. I ran my mile for the President's fitness award (or whatever that was called) in 8:58, but it was a total struggle and I haven't been able to achieve a time like that again. I'm just not a runner.

15 0
finalyearsofhate 22

Hate to be the bearer of bad news and all... But "the 1600", as OP said they completed, wouldn't even be a mile. A mile is 1760 yards.

2 7
drakem 7

Shit man he was off by a full 9 meters, shame on you OP.

1 0
RoseBlack123 37

I really hate coaches like that, who are huge fat asses themselves yet think they can ridicule others. Maybe you should report him, he has no right to mock you like that!

105 7
NoMore_CoolNames 14

Maybe he was joking. I've had gym teachers like that who will take any opportunity to make something funny. A few years ago my gym teacher talked carp about the soccer team every chance he had... he was the coach.

16 5
MikaykayUnicorn 36

Even if he WAS joking, it hurt OP's feelings. My brother' gym teacher basically called him gay and tried to make it up with a snickers.

27 1
Mr_Loudmouth 9

3 and 33, thank you for showing everyone what's wrong with this world. Everyone now a days is just too damn sensitive and can't take a joke. Grow up please.

17 12
NoMore_CoolNames 14

33- Still, school just recently started and now the gym teacher knows what OP isn't ok with.

2 1
kwyk 23

Blah, people who scream for help at every sleight, real or imagined. He probably didn't mean any wrong by his comment, and you're probably more motivated for fitness already! ;)

5 2
miketopgunmike1 25

he talked with a fish?? no wonder your team sucks lol...

7 4
fatraptorjesus13 9

People who are this sensitive are the reason some places can't say Merry Christmas publicly. Grow the **** up, if you suck at running or athletics in general either accept it or use this to improve. I used to be really sensitive and shy, but I learned to accept my flaws and embrace my strengths. I know this wasn't even mentioned, but I've seen it a lot. Self pitying people who dwell on shit like this are downers, and you'll make a lot more friends(even if you have a lot to begin with) if you take everything in stride. No one take this the wrong way, it takes time to come out of your shell, but the sooner you get on it the happier you will be.

6 4
How_you_doin 10

@ 33...well thats because everybody feels better after a snickers.

4 0
awkwardology 23

That sucks, OP. But at least you're not "a few sandwiches short of a picnic"... Yay, consolation prizes!

50 9
starile 19

A few cards short of a deck? A few inches short of a foot? A few clowns short of a circus? A few doughnuts short of being a cop? A couplet short of a sonnet? A few shrimps short of a barbie?

3 0
QueenSaru 28

@86, we always used to say "A few fries short of a Happy Meal". XD

0 0
maryaalhindi 9

Aww it's okay when I'd run the mile my coach would just sigh and walk away

47 2
tpm45 25

One time my coach wouldn't even let me finish because I was walking.... Gym was my lowest grade that quarter lol. And don't sweat it, OP, haters gunna hate.

14 3
MrSassypants 33

#48 It's hard not to sweat in gym class. What's that? You want me to go jump off a bridge because of that joke? Okey dokey.

6 0
j_729 18

48 - Are you really to lazy to even attempt jogging? I think your gym teacher did the right thing by not letting you finish

5 16
SuperSofie 23

Yup, gym coaches suck. They always picked on me because I could do sports properly (through no fault of my own). Always got my GPA down. Just ignore the coach, he's clearly an abnoxious twat. You go at your own pace OP, at least you finished the race!!

3 1
PandaSmile 24

Gym coaches suck almost as much as running does.

44 5
Pleonasm 35

And in all that time he didn't get you a ******* birthday present? Typical.

73 5
HowieDoIt 21

On the plus side, since it's not a leap year you shed about 1/4 a day off your time! Think positive, Op!

28 2
SqueakyChipmunk 21

"And you're the dumbass who waited that long for me to comeback." Wait don't say that, you'll get in trouble :u

8 15
onorexveritas 23

its okay. I couldn't even run a mile to save my life

9 12
SqueakyChipmunk 21

I should probably bring you along when the zombie apocalypse hits. I need distractions and bait.

33 1
lolita88_fml 27

You really are screwed if the zombies attack...

7 3
MrSassypants 33

Unless she's the zombie, then the people left over would be pretty safe.

2 2