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This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
By Susan - 10/11/2017 14:36
I was masturbating with a cucumber when it suddenly broke so I had to push it out... Basically, I gave birth to a piece of cucumber...
Just got a *****. Fewer risks of it breaking and you can use it a lot more than food. And do people actually do that? Use food to **********?
Congratulations... but if you want to compare it to a real birth, use a watermelon! ;)