Today, I pulled a muscle in my stomach while straining to overcome... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By fetid fart fug - 09/11/2017 21:24

Today, I pulled a muscle in my stomach while straining to overcome the constipation that has plagued me for over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 3

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

GhostFox 33

Sunday 12 November 2017 5:52

You really should have gone to a doctor, or hell, even an ER. You should NOT be constipated for that long- your intestines being that backed up is a sign of something being wrong. In the rare case something wasn't wrong when it began, it can really easily cause something to go wrong, and it isn't impossible for our organs to rupture from that in extreme cases.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Sunday 12 November 2017 5:52

You really should have gone to a doctor, or hell, even an ER. You should NOT be constipated for that long- your intestines being that backed up is a sign of something being wrong. In the rare case something wasn't wrong when it began, it can really easily cause something to go wrong, and it isn't impossible for our organs to rupture from that in extreme cases.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Work Cute Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Awkward Gifts Shopping Health Friends Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Love Smells Painful First Dates Grieving Music

The Top

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 472

You deserved it 1 271

The Top

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 898

You deserved it 9 851

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I went to a chiropractor and got a membership just because I was desperate to be touched by a man after being single for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 317

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 118

You deserved it 62 435

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 251

You deserved it 26 158

Today, my husband threw a tantrum and, in a blind rage, admitted to having an affair with his co-worker. All because the Cowboys are not making it to the SuperBowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 210