Intimacy: Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years...

By prinzess - 09/12/2010 14:20 - Germany

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 230

You deserved it 5 912

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Shelling Ford - 25/08/2015 11:55 - Germany - Munich

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 261

You deserved it 3 320

By stelno - 18/06/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 64 653

By JennaMarie - 26/07/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 390

You deserved it 17 790

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

By wrecked - 09/06/2014 21:03 - United States

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 362

You deserved it 5 627

By justawallflower - 30/11/2014 02:06 - United States - Elyria

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 3 152

Impossible

By Anonymous - 06/06/2011 14:18

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 208

You deserved it 4 135

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Novi

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 010

You deserved it 3 581

You haven't changed

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I talked to my ex from Uni for the first time in 10 years. I told her my wife and I just had a baby, and her immediate response was, "I WAS A BABY ONCE!" What the hell did I see in her? FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 233

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 125

knight0748 5

Thursday 9 December 2010 19:04

Tell her that's fine, in a few years you'll trade her in for a newer and younger one anyway.

fatfatgoeshome 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:57

At least you have her now! ....yay!

Comments

fatfatgoeshome 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:57

At least you have her now! ....yay!

Alleged_Cranium 7

Thursday 9 December 2010 22:28

But she still has that great personality.

MrCalves 1

Thursday 9 December 2010 23:15

I can't have sex with your personality, And I can't put my p*nis in your college degree, And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams, So why're you sharing all this information with me?

sickchiverzz 4

Friday 10 December 2010 0:08

just show me your genitals, your genitals show me your genitals [your genitaliaaaa!!]

BDTM 0

Friday 10 December 2010 7:56

59 = win

OMGiTZmExD 0

Friday 10 December 2010 12:57

watzz da namee off thatt sonq i heard it b44??

tamiami247 0

Friday 10 December 2010 14:57

Umm "show me your genitals" duh...it's on YouTube. ♥

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 10 December 2010 23:36

96 - What's a "sonq"? I've heard of a "song", but never a "sonq".

The_Big_Mac 7

Saturday 11 December 2010 13:09

102- nice catch, I had to do a double take. I'm with you though I would like to know what a sonq is.

Reyo 2

Tuesday 21 December 2010 8:29

"I'm guessing you also had a good figure and more appealing weight number, so yeah I guess you're right."

goodorbadnews 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 2:23

YDI for marrying a bitch

nalia18 8

Thursday 12 May 2011 0:30

maybe shes saying that back then she would have been niave and now she realizes what a wonderful person you are

dan135 5

Friday 17 February 2012 21:41

Or she got older and lost some of those "many option". Or she wasnt as wanted as she thought and many of those options were turned down. Sounds like one of those high school cheerleader bitches with a football playing boyfriend to me.