By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 052
You deserved it 4 684
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Top comments

btstig 11

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

446 30
808Boyo 4

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

357 26

Comments

Krajjan 9

That's lawful cause for divorce right there.

20 75
reb1995_fml 3

5 - Just stop...

40 17
jtthegr8 26

5- getting your penis flicked isn't worth getting divorced over

34 13
desireev 17

I'm pretty sure that #5 was just joking. I found it amusing anyway... Lol

35 13
kyarush 10

That's called a sense of humor #5. something you DO NOT get a divorce over...

9 10
Jiplo 18

last time I checked, sense of humor doesn't cause great dick pains.

16 1
cwbsmoker 5

I woulda beaver whacked her. :B

3 3
EvilDave 13

@ #11 & #60 So, your husband punching you in the face or the breast or the ****** isn't worth getting divorced over either, yes?

0 2
808Boyo 4

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

357 26
j_cat187 19

Grab her ass it's over 9000!!!... Pounds.

11 38
skullcandifiedDJ 5

Hey, at least you got a free circumcision! Well... Kinda

1 42
22cute 17

If this were a man doing similar to his wife all you trolls would be tucking it up and telling her to grow a sense of humor. So suck it up & grow a sense of humor, Gits!

29 13
btstig 11

But it's not 126 so chill and stfu.

9 27
kocoman500 2

#2 looks like Scumbag Steve Just sayin'

13 2
whycantisignup 24

#126, there's a difference between having a sense of humour and inflicting pain on someone...

0 0
btstig 11

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

446 30
Haiana04 3

"Game Ovaries"-Tosh.0

64 6
br0ccoli 14

3 - later he will be '****-blocked' by his '**** punt' Penis: 1 '****': 2 You won't win.

111 10
btstig 11

There are two other service entrances if the main gate is closed.

93 10
toalysium 15

After a proper **** punt it's defective anyway, trade in for a new model.

17 7
erkasaurusrexx 0

58, just because the "main gate" is closed doesn't mean she's gonna give him it another way.

7 20
btstig 11

That's when you must woo her. Good bit of shots works too.

6 6
WOGBRO 6

Nice idea although it could damage her quite a bit.

3 3
EvilDave 13

#180 So, you only care about damage to the woman and not the man. Interesting.

1 3
scoobyfiend 0

What the actual **** is wrong with that women.

165 19
MissMae93 23

It's woman (singular) because not all of us women do stupid shit like that.

63 20
aleishaa_jadee 13

If you look close enough #51, I think you'll find they did single out that woman, not women in general they just didn't change the E in women to an A.. :)

32 9
MissMae93 23

56 - Well yes, I'm just pointing out the difference between "woman" and "women" for future reference.

27 12
enriquepp 4

O god why would you follow a grammar lesson with that? You are right I should have been less careless.

3 67
scotty67 3

Obviously he was trying to be funny and ironic.

41 5
KriiFahMoro 9

Whut r 72 trieing 2 sey? It sems fien 2 mea.

11 1
alexm501 0

Why do people say "actual ****"? It's dumb. Like "the ****" instead of "what the ****".

2 15
perdix 29

Seinfeld fans! You ought to slip some lobster into her eggs, that will make you even!

52 15
Mister_Triangle 21

At least she knows about shrinkage

1 0
RussianFox 13

So punching in the ****** is frowned upon but kicking is respected apparently.

53 0
DKjazz 20

Not everybody's into fisting. Understandable.

20 0
goldfishgod 20

Uh, no. If you wanted a comparable experience, you'd flick her clit with your untrimmed fingernails.

3 1
mikeymayhem_87 15

Flick her in the nips and yell shrinkage? Or perhaps make "echoed" noises at her ******?

14 42
TheDrifter 23

Flicking her nipples and yelling "saggage" would be more correct, but likely to get op in trouble.

10 0